Ever felt trapped in a vicious cycle, unable to break free? Do you believe your destiny is set in stone? In this blog post, we’ll explore the key to your destiny. It is so simple you won’t believe it!
You hold it in your hands!
It’s all about those small shifts in beliefs and actions that create a seismic impact on your life. Ditching the snooze button in the morning isn’t just about waking up—it’s your ticket to that long-awaited promotion!
How? It’s a ripple effect! Skipping that morning snooze boosts your confidence. You show up on time, earning trust and inspiring your team. See! I told you it’s simple!
While it is simple, is not always easy! I understand that breaking habits might feel daunting, but tiny changes pave the way to reshape your life’s trajectory.
“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
Mahatma Gandhi
What is a Habit?
A habit is a regularly repeated behavior, often without conscious awareness. Some of our patterns of behavior are helpful and make us more productive and successful, while others can be harmful and lead to unhealthy lifestyles, loss, and suffering.
Breaking a habit can be difficult, but it’s not impossible. It starts with willingness and awareness! By being aware of our habits, we understand why we do certain things, what triggers our behavior, and what is our reward for that behavior. Then, with willingness, we can start to change our habits for the better. Small tweaks to our routines can make a big difference in our lives.
Understanding the Power of Habits
Most of us go through life on autopilot, not thinking about our choices or why we make them. We just do what we’ve always done without giving much thought to whether or not it’s serving us well.
But when we stop to think about it, we realize that habits have a huge impact on our lives. They simply shape our lives, how we spend our time, how we relate to other people, and ultimately, how successful and fulfilled we are in life. We all are creatures of habit. But as Gandhi put it, we write our destinies with our thoughts, actions, and behaviors. Understanding the power of habits is understanding that we have the power to change our destinies.
If you’re stuck in a rut and feeling like you can’t break free, it may be time to take a closer look at your habits and patterns of behavior. Making small changes that can lead to big results.
Here’s a look at how habits work and why they can hold you back:
The American Journal of Psychology defined a “habit, [as] a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience.” Behavior psychologist and researcher Wendy Wood and her colleagues at the University of Southern California found that approximately 43% of our daily behaviors are performed out of habit. Old habits are hard to break, and new habits are hard to form because the behavioral patterns that humans repeat become imprinted in neural pathways, but it is possible to form new habits through conscious choice and repetition.
Habits have three phases. The trigger, the routine, and the reward.
- The Trigger. In “The Power of Habit” by Charles Duhigg, triggers or cues are elements that initiate or prompt a habitual behavior. Duhigg outlines five categories of triggers based on his research:
- Location: Certain places can act as cues for specific behaviors. For instance, entering a gym may trigger the habit of exercising.
- Time: Specific times of day can serve as triggers for habits. For example, feeling a craving for a snack every afternoon at 3 p.m.
- Emotional State: Emotions or moods can act as triggers for habits. Stress might trigger the habit of nail-biting or comfort eating.
- Other People: The presence or actions of others can also trigger habits. For instance, meeting friends might prompt certain social behaviors or habits, such as having a drink.
- Immediately Preceding Action: Engaging in a particular action or behavior can trigger the start of another habit. For instance, finishing a meal might trigger the habit of having dessert or smoking a cigarette.
- The Routine. The Routine signifies the actions that make up a habitual behavior. For instance, you are walking down the street: as you pass by a coffee shop, the aroma entices you inside. You order a large coffee along with a bagel or croissant, step outside, and savor your coffee while indulging in a cigarette. These actions collectively form the routine that characterizes a particular habit.
- The reward. The reward is the driving force of your habit. Is what you crave or run away from. The reward is the most important component of a habit. Without it, we would not have a motive or purpose for the habit.
Habits are hardwired in our brains. We do things a certain way since we were young and have never wondered why and how we got to do it. They are just there, creating our characters, personalities, and life. Once we do something a certain way a few times, it becomes “grooved” into our brain. That doesn’t mean we were born with it nor will die with it. We can change it or develop a new one. Consciously by paying attention to the reward that the habit brings us and the reason for the habit, we can rewrite any habit or pattern of behavior.
Our habits, while sometimes helpful for saving time or energy, might also become outdated or even harmful if they no longer provide the same benefits they used to. Take, for example, the habit of eating bread with every meal—a cultural norm rooted in my Romanian upbringing. Although it used to be comforting and enjoyable, as adults, it might not serve us well anymore.
Habits also have an emotional aspect. We often form them to deal with tough feelings or situations. While routines make us feel secure, some habits can be harmful or hold us back.
Understanding how habits form empowers us to change. It starts with realizing our ability to change. Adjusting habits requires commitment and might feel uncomfortable initially, but acknowledging their power helps us make lasting positive changes.
To transform habits, set clear goals and intentions. Change isn’t immediate; it takes time, effort, and patience. Yet, by taking small steps daily, we can make substantial improvements in our lives. Embrace this control over your habits, and with the right mindset and plan, you can lead a better life.
Four Steps to Changing Habits
Most of us have at least one habit that we would like to change. Whether it’s having one too many drinks at dinner or going to the gym three times a day, we all have room for improvement.
So, how do you go about changing a habit?
- Identify the routine of the habit
- Play with the rewards
- Eliminate or limit the trigger
- Make a plan and stick with it
Every habit is a loop of triggers, routines, and rewards. Duhigg explains that changing a habit starts with identifying the habit that you want to change; that is the routine of the habit. Then, you need to determine why you want to change it. What are the benefits of changing this particular habit? What is the new reward you are looking for?
Once you know why you want to change the habit, it’s time to start making small changes. For example, if you bite your nails when you’re anxious or afraid, and the reward is the comfort that biting your nails offers you, try finding a better way to comfort yourself. Have a manicure, drink hot milk or tea, or play an instrument. Make small changes in the reward and try to eliminate the trigger. If you want to quit the bagel in the morning, take a different route to work that doesn’t have a coffee shop or a bagel place. Or, if you want to stop eating sweets at night, stop buying cookies. It’s important to remember that habits take time to form and break. Be patient with yourself, and don’t expect overnight results.
I like to call it a journey. It is considered a habit, any activity you do 80% of the time.
Making a plan and setting a deadline gives you the motivation to stick to your plan. Write it down or keep it in a visual format so that you can refer back to it often. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you slip up every now and then, and reward yourself along the way instead. Celebrate each small victory as you inch closer to your goal!
Using Self-Awareness to Track Progress
In order to be successful in breaking a habit, it is crucial to be aware of your current progress and post-day reflection. At the end of each day, evaluate how well you stuck to your plan and what could have been done better. This will help to keep you accountable and on track by solidifying the actions you need to take daily to break your habit.
Self-awareness is not only about being conscious of your progress but also about monitoring your triggers and emotions. If you catch yourself before falling into a negative spiral, you’ll be more likely to endure the tough days. To do this, you must check in with yourself regularly and honestly ask how you’re feeling.
If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to seek support from friends or family members who can help hold you accountable. It is also helpful to find a professional who can guide you through the process of breaking unhealthy habits. Remember, changing old patterns takes time and consistency, but it is possible with self-awareness and dedication!
Be prepared for setbacks. It’s normal to slip up occasionally. We are all human. Just don’t give up! Get back on track as soon as possible and keep working towards your goal.
It might be helpful to find activities to distract you from your habit. Exercising, reading, or taking up a new hobby can help create a positive pattern of behavior to replace the old habit.
Recognize that I haven’t categorized habits as “bad” or “good.” As humans, we naturally possess various habits—there’s no need for judgment. Instead, our focus lies in inspiring and supporting each other on our unique journeys.
As always, I am here if you would like to talk. Just click on this link FREE CALL.
